Tuesday, June 28, 2011

The Bucket List

"Standard Nerds!" --Denhym from the IT Crowd

Voila! A beginner bucket list. Those with WAY better ideas, feel free to post them ^_^

1. Drive a Ferrari
2. Write a book that isn't self-published ;)
3. Wear my wedding dress in exotic places
4. Have a personal shopper pick out awesome clothes for me
5. Meet Laurell K. Hamilton
6. Visit Robin McKinley and Peter Dickinson's house
7. Learn another language well enough to converse fluently in it
8. Live in a dream house for at least a year
9. Have a reliable pen pal for many years
10. See cancer prevention come to fruition
11. Kiss the most beautiful child in the world (mostly I'm too afraid to touch children, with all the immunities I've had to build up through different jobs)
12. See Micah cry in joy on our wedding day
13. See my brother happily married with children
14. Be a godmother

Monday, June 27, 2011

Pirate Radio!

"I'll level with you, Roy. I don't think I'd flourish in a prison environment." --Maurice Moss, The IT Crowd.

Pirate Radio!! The single most awesome non-instrumental movie soundtrack I have EVER heard!! I feel there are more songs in the movie that aren't included in the official sountrack, but that could just be 60's pop and rock greed talking ~_^

Here is a short list of the included songs:
"Stay With Me" by Duffy
"All Day and All of the Night" the Kinks
"Elenore" the Turtles
"Judy in Disguise" John Fred and His Playboy Band
"Dancing in the Street" Martha Reeves and the Vandellas
"Wouldn't it Be Nice" The Beach Boys
"Oo Baby Baby" Smokey Robinson and the Miracles
and soooo many more

I so enjoyed this movie. A teensy bit predictable, but the actors were so marvelously done I did NOT CARE!! Rhys Ifans was completely wasted as Luna Lovegood's father. I'm certain he would have been an excellent Sirius Black. Charming, just charming.

Bill Nighy never disappoints. I keep expecting him to, but he escapes my criticism in every frame, I love it!

My weekly "Date Night" with the pharmacist we're borrowing was as always nice. We have very interesting conversations. Week before last it was about how things are when the people you love are dabbling in recreational drugs, and this week it was about religion and what you seek and the differences between the Christian sects. He always makes me want to do my important reading I've been putting off, and meditations I tend to skip. Everyone should have someone like this in your life.

Coming soon, a Bucket List Blog!

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

When I opened my Japanese kanji app, I had a million upon million words to choose from to look up. I chose this one. Out of the endless vista of verbiage, this is the one--the only one--that I wanted. I looked at my life, and what meant anything to me, and what inspires my fiercest championship, and I found it in one word.


It's something that stays with me even when I'm extraordinarily happy. Don't get me wrong, I am not sad. I am happy. I love my life.

But once upon a time I experienced the deepest of sorrows. And it felt like a river I was drowning in. And. And.

Ever since then, I feel like even--maybe even especially--at my happiest times, I still have at least a finger in that river. It is like, once you've been submerged you can't let it go. You remember. You can't ignore it. You can't ever ever forget it.

This is what lives in my heart. Maybe I need counseling to get rid of it. Something that rides with you every day and has a hand in everything you say in unguarded moments needs to be examined, reexamined.

As the largest rider in my ship, the most noticeable, every time I feel that someone is looking directly at me I'm afraid they can see this, and think me crazy and unreliable for holding onto it for so long. Every time--every time!!--I immediately start crying. It's like they touched the river by looking at me, and it...leaks.

I am not completely filled by sorrow. There are other things in me. Smart things, pretty things, scary things, sweet things, blunt and cruel things... The truth is there isn't much I wouldn't do for the people around me. Even people I don't interact with outside of work.

But I do have a strong rider with me. And the rider wouldn't appreciate me turning away another person in sorrow. Sometimes I think the memory of Christ's sorrow is the greatest thing the Christian faith can give its followers. It's intransmutable on a normal basis. It is only under duress, sometimes extra-duress, that it can be used for revelation, and a meeting of the minds.